


Pet(shop)stuck

by CJCroen1393



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Animals, Gen, Petstuck, but not as you know it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-04
Updated: 2015-07-24
Packaged: 2018-01-21 01:58:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1533467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CJCroen1393/pseuds/CJCroen1393
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A small rabbit sits in his cage...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. ==>John: Start the day

**Author's Note:**

> Popped randomly into my head. I'll start on it, then finish it when I have the time XD
> 
> I was inspired by the "Iwatobi Animal Shelter" fanfics. Go read them, they're good!

A small rabbit sits in his cage. It just so happens that today, the thirteenth of April is this young rabbit's birthday. While it has been a few years since he's been given life, only now will he be given a name.

What will this rabbit's name be?

"Carrot Breath"

TRY AGAIN, SMART MOUTH!

"John"

That's better!

Your name is John and as previously mentioned today is your birthday. But more importantly, it's the anniversary of when you came here, to the Lofaf Animal Emporium, a local pet store. When you were just a baby rabbit, you came here after being separated from your parents. But you don't mind. You made a lot of new friends.

You are a black and white rabbit, with little blotches of black fur on your body, and markings on your face that look like glasses. And blue eyes, a rarity for rabbits.

==>John: Observe friends.

You look down. You see your friend Rose.

Rose is a white cat (she calls herself a "Purrrsian"), with long fluffy fur and short pointy ears. She has pink almond shaped eyes and long whiskers. She wears a collar with a sinister looking purple creature on it (Ms. Feferi calls it a "squiddle", whatever that is). She's a bit sarcastic, but also very smart and willing to talk to you, even if he uses lots of big words.

You hear a loud "bark" and turn to see Jade.

Jade is a little black puppy with round white markings over her eyes. She has a green collar with a strange blue mark on it and large green eyes. She's very nice and very brave, like most dogs are. She often barks at Rose, but the two of them are still good friends. Jade was apparently very sheltered as a puppy and never spoke to other animals before. You hear that Jade might be half-wolf. You think this is really cool.

You hear a tapping noise and turn to a window. You see your friend Dave.

Dave is not a pet. He's a crow who lives outside. His nest is apparently in the "o" of the pet shop's sign. Mr. Tavros likes to feed Dave seeds outside and in return, Dave memorizes the faces of jerky customers and drives them away. Despite the fact that crows are one of the animals that would probably eat you if you lived in the wild, you and Dave have become best friends. He has promised you that if you ever get adopted, he'll memorize the face of the person who takes you and visit you there. You don't really think it matters, though.

You smile at Dave and wave to him with your paw. He waves back with his wing, only for that pesky honeybee, Sollux to buzz by. Dave squawks loudly and chases Sollux. You laugh a little to yourself quietly.

In the terrarium across from you, you see Karkat, a small hermit crab.

Karkat looks irritated, as per usual. He has a red exoskeleton and a large black shell with a cancer sign on the back. His large claws (or pincers, you're never very sure as to which is the proper term) snapped a lot and he grumbled to himself as always. Ms. Feferi called him a "Little Mr. Grumpy Pants". He clearly didn't like that. His terrarium was full of tin cans, decorated to look like buildings. There used to be another hermit crab in the cage named "The Mayor", because of the sash-like stripe on his shell. The Mayor was adopted by a kindly mailwoman named Penny Marie a while ago. Karkat and Dave were both pretty upset by this.

In the terrarium on Kakat's right side was a large lizard named Terezi.

Terezi was a large, scaly lizard with bluish markings. She was blind, apparently due to poor conditions in her old terrarium. However, she had a keen sense of smell and was very smart. She really liked Karkat, who scuttled away from her in a rush. She chuckled and sneered in the "you know you can't resist me" sort of way.

You look at the terrarium on Karkat's left side. In that terrarium is a large python named Calliope.

Calliope was a friendly snake. She would often talk to you when you are upset and boost morale for pets who are upset that they haven't been adopted yet. She was owned by a nasty man..."Caliborn", you think his name was. He abused her pretty bad, to the point that Ms. Feferi banned him from the store and Mr. Tavros trained Dave to recognize him and drive him away if he ever tried to come back.

The terrarium on Terezi's right side housed a large blue tarantula. Her name was Vriska. Vriska was a good friend of yours, even if she wasn't particularly friendly. She especially liked to mess with Mr. Tavros, who seemed to be scared of her; she would often pretend to strike him when he tried to feed her. You would often hear her laugh afterward.

You here a "glub" and a "huff" and turn around to the aquarium directly behind your cage.

In the aquarium was a lone porcupine fish, named Eridan. He was a very irritable and arrogant fish who liked to be the boss everytime there were other fish in the aquarium. This week, most of the other fish had been bought, so Eridan had nobody to boss around. Still, he puffed up everytime someone walked by his tank. Fortunately, he was so small that the human customers found this cute rather than scary. 

Ms. Feferi seemed to be the only thing in the world Eridan liked. You don't know why, but Eridan actually seems to be in love with her. Strange, but you suppose it's kind of sweet.

Suddenly, you hear Ms. Feferi say "Opening time!"

You get excited! Because that also means breakfast time!

==>John: Receive Breakfast

Ms. Feferi, one of the pet store owners, was a tall, dark skinned woman with very long, dark hair and a very big heart. Or at least, you thought it was big; she was very nice. She always wore the standard pet store uniform and had a nametag that said "Hello, my name is Feferi Peixes". She also wore bright yellow jewelry in her ears. She smiled as she grabbed a bottle of fish flakes and said "Hellooo, Eridan! How's my favorite little fishy?"

Eridan smiled as she dropped some flakes in the tank and then ate some. He swam in a little circle with a big goofy grin on his face while she giggled.

Ms. Feferi then walked up to you with some rabbit pellets, which she poured into your bowl. You smile as you start nibbling on them, while Ms. Feferi puts some water in your bottle. You look at her as she walks up to the other pets. She and Mr. Tavros are very good animal caretakers; they have a way with animals that most people don't have. You don't know what it is, but they're really nice so you don't mind.

She gives Jade some snausages (her alltime favorite food) and places some cat food in Rose's bowl, to which Rose responds by sitting up tall and regal and then eating quietly and neatly.

Terezi is given some crickets and Karkat is given whatever it is hermit crabs eat (you don't know what it's called). Calliope, being cold blooded, only needed to eat once a week. You were quite thankful that today she didn't have to eat. Those mice that she was fed last week...those screams as she _crushed_ them to death...you don't like to think about it.

Vriska is given a dead mouse to eat, and eat it she does. She snickers a bit as she looks in Terezi's direction with her eight gross spider eyes. Terezi just ignores her.

Outside, Mr. Tavros is feeding Dave a handful of seeds. Dave perches on Mr. Tavros' hand and eats the seeds, before flying away. Mr. Tavros was a short, thin man, with a round face, dark skin and brown hair in a messy mohawk (or at least, that's what Ms. Feferi calls his hair). Like Ms. Feferi, he had jewelry, but his was on his nose rather than his ears and was grey rather than yellow. He walked* back into the store and dusted off his hands. You watched him go up to Ms. Feferi and say something about having to "count his fingers" next time he feeds Dave. He then changed the "closed" sign to "open". The day has officially begun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EDIT: Okay, I changed Jade to a puppy rather than a large dog. I thought it would fit better.


	2. ==>Rose: Greet newcomers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! So the Gigapause is over and all, and with my love of Homestuck reignited, I decided to start working on this fic again!
> 
> That said, this isn't really gonna have a big story to it; similar to the fanfic that gave me the idea ("Iwatobi Animal Shelter" by trixiechick...seriously, read that too because it's awesome and adorable), it'll probably just be a series of cute little drabbles involving the shenanigans of the cute little animalified Homestucks :3
> 
> I'll be starting with drabbles where the petstuck versions of the Beta Kids are introduced in order of how they appeared in comic (i.e, first John, then Rose, then Dave, then Jade) and then the POVs will be all random.
> 
> And yeah, I'm still gonna work on "Welcome to the Inferno" and possibly MLHS MSTs.

A pretty little Persian cat sits in her pen, batting a ball of pink yarn around. She has just finished a nap and her breakfast. Now she's bored.

What is this cat's name?

"Hairball Hacker"

NICE TRY, BUT THAT'S NOT HER NAME!

"Rose"

There we go!

Your name is Rose. You've been here in the Lofaf Animal Emporium for as long as you can remember. You like it here, but you would also like to be adopted someday. You have long white fur that's super fluffy, and almond, pink eyes. You are currently batting your favorite pink yarnball, bored out of your mind. And as a cat, boredom is something you WILL NOT tolerate. 

It's been a slow day, a quiet day. Customers came in, looked around and left. Others came in and bought pet toys, food and things. Nobody seemed interested in buying animals. 

But then a truck comes in and Ms. Feferi gets really excited.

"Oooh!" she says, "Those must be the new pets! C'mon Tavros!"

Mr. Tavros nods and heads out with her. They return moments later, Ms. Feferi holding two bags with fish in them and an exasperated looking Mr. Tavros lugging a couple of boxes with airholes in them. He has a large, black palm cockatoo perched on his shoulder.

Ms. Feferi was introducing the new fish to Eridan, the puffer fish. Eridan doesn't look particularly happy (he always felt threatened when a new fish came, probably scared that his status as "Ms. Feferi's favorite" would be usurped), but he also appears to be trying to force a little grin. The fish she's showing him, a goatfish and an X-ray fish, don't look particularly appetizing. You decide to leave them be.

Mr. Tavros, meanwhile, places the cockatoo on a perch near the cashier's desk and pulls a little white rabbit out of a box, placing her in John's little bunny house. You wonder who that rabbit is.

Ms. Feferi then goes over to your area, holding a slinky looking Siamese cat. She smiles and says "Here is your new roommate, Rose!"

You feel like forcing a grin, just like Eridan.

"Her name is Roxy!"

You look at the Siamese. She is smiling at you.

==>Rose: Speak to newcomer

"Hello," you say to the Siamese cat.

"Hi!" she responds, "My name's Roxy! You must be Rose!"

You just nod.

"So how did you get here?" she asks, still smiling.

"I don't really know." you say, "I've been here as long as I can remember."

Roxy giggles.

"I used to be an alley cat," she says, "my mom and I would always run around, looking for scraps of food and stuff! It was kinda fun!"

"That sounds very interesting," you say, "Where is your mother? I would love to meet her."

Roxy looks sad, and you realize that you may have said something wrong.

"I'm sorry," you say hastily, "I didn't mean to bring up a sensitive subject."

"No," says Roxy, "it's alright. You see, one day, she told me to hide in the big box we lived in and ran off to get our dinner. But she never came back and I never saw her again."

"That's awful!" you say.

"Yeah," Roxy says sadly, "I sat there in our home waiting, and crying. But no matter how much I cried she didn't come back. But then, some nice humans found me!"

"What kind of humans?"

"I don't know, but they were really nice! They took me to a place where they cleaned me up and gave me food and a nice warm place to sleep! But I didn't get to stay for very long."

"Why not?"

"I dunno. I don't really get humans. They sent me to a place where a lot of other animals lived. I met a lot of humans. I think some of them were vets, but I don't remember. And then, they sent me here!"

"Oh. Well, that was an interesting story."

"Thank you! So what are things like around here?"

"Typical of any pet store. I could introduce you to my friends."

A tapping at the window. You and Roxy look at it to see that insufferable crow, Dave, staring in the window.

"Bird!" says Roxy, "Can we eat him?"

"No, Roxy," you say, "we leave Dave alone. He's one of those friends I told you about."

Roxy laughs.

"You're friends with a bird?"

"For a given definition of 'friends', yes."

"Hey you guys!" says Ms. Feferi, "It's time to go to the window!"

"Hmm?" asks Roxy, "What does that mean?"

"It means we sit in the window with our friends," you explain, "we look cute to make people want to adopt us."

"That sounds fun!" says Roxy.

You smile as you and Roxy are being lifted and carried over to the window. You think you're going to like having Roxy as a roommate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was gonna include Meulin in this one as a cat, but she came off as superfluous.
> 
> Can y'all guess who the goatfish, the X-ray fish, the palm cockatoo and the new rabbit are? :)


	3. ==>Dave: Get yourself some breakfast

There's a really cool crow strutting about in the city park, ok? He's strutting around the city park all chill, like cool crows are known to do sometimes. A cool crow like this is sure to have a really cool name. But he probably won't just tell you what it is. Because he's a bird and can't do that. 

But you can try to guess his name. And if you're right he might nod. Although you might not be aware if he's nodding or just bobbing his head up and down like birds do. What is this crow's name?

==>"Insufferable Birdbra--

"CAW CAW CAW!!!"

He clearly doesn't have time for this.

==>"Dave"

That works!

Your name is Dave. You are a crow, and you live in a nest that you built in the second "o" of the "Lofaf's Pet Emporium". You became friends with the pets there, though right now you decided to hang out in the park to grab some breakfast. As an omnivorous scavenger, you'll eat just about anything you can find lying around, but you have your preferences; french fries and Cheetos for example. Humans can be really dumb sometimes, dropping perfectly good food all over the place. But other times, you trick them. You would walk up to humans and tug on their pantlegs or peck their shoes. They drop their food in surprise and you immediately snatch it away and fly off before they can chase you.

You're a crow; being smarter than humans comes naturally.

==>Dave: Find some chow

You wander through the park and notice that there are a lot of birds walking around, crows, pigeons, sea gulls, etc. squawking and flapping and fighting over food. You notice a pigeon running around with a french fry in his beak while a grackle chases him angrily, obviously wanting the fry for herself. 

You decide to join the fray.

You dart in and notice a half empty Cheeto bag, and immediately fly in. Another bird, you believe it's a magpie, flies in at you. You push him away with your claws, but he's not giving up without a fight. You keep your feet on the bag and try to beat the magpie with your wings, cawing all the while. He eventually backs down. You start eating the Cheetos and soon your black feathers and beak are stained with bright orange cheese powder.

You really like this food, and wonder why your friends at the pet shop want to stay pets rather than eating tasty food like this. But then you remember how hard it is for a wild animal to find food for himself and it all becomes clear; your friends in the pet store get new three square meals a day from the pet store owners. You have to admit, that sounds like a pretty sweet deal.

You hear a sea gull crying out in a very distinctive manner and look up to see your bro, Dirk the sea gull. You caw back at him and he flies down to greet you.

==>Dave: Fist bump with your bro

You and your bro cannot fist bump, because you are birds and birds do not have fists. You just bob your heads at each other instead.

==>Dave: Chat with your bro

"Yo, Dirk," you say, "how are things at the puppet shop?"

Your bro lives in a nest above a puppet shop. You were creeped out by that place, but you would never tell him that. You think the place was haunted.

"They're alright," says Dirk, "Alright."

You nod in agreement and the two of you strut about in typical cool bird fashion. You look to a bench where a familiar old married couple and their young German shepherd dog, a cute but clueless looking little mutt who was currently wagging his tail enthusiastically.

You go up to the old couple, who drop food and birdseed on the pavement for birds to eat. Dirk is approaching the dog, Jake, and chatting with him calmly. Jake sounds so energetic, you wonder how Dirk can keep up. 

Suddenly you hear a noise in the bushes. Uh-oh, here she comes...

"Yo, Dirk, she's back."

"Dude, really?"

"Yeah. And she's takin' no prisoners. She's comin', in fact, she's already here..."

MROW!!!

There she is.

==>Dave: Look at attacker

"Hey Nepeta," you say to the tabby cat currently sitting over you, "How are you today?"

"Dave!" whines Nepeta, "You ruined my hunt!"

"Sorry, Nep." you say, "How is Equius?"

"He's alright! He's still pulling that carriage like the STRONG horse he is! Sollux and Aradia are good too!"

"Ugh, Sollux." you groan.

"What have you got against Sollux?" asks Nepeta as you, she and Dirk leave that part of the park.

"He's the only pesky bug I can't catch."

"He's a bee," says Dirk, "you know he could sting you."

"I don't care, it's almost insulting that he can evade me like he does. And I don't get how he and Aradia are friends. Don't frogs eat bugs too?"

"It's probably the stinger. Plus any animals can be friends. Just look at us, we're birds who are friends with a stray cat."

Nepeta giggles.

"That doesn't really count," you say, "we both eat birds sometimes too."

"Fair point." says Dirk.

You sigh, and say "I'm gonna go check out my friends at the pet store. I'll see you guys later."

You fly off, catching sight of Dirk and Nepeta waving goodbye as you go.

To be continued...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dave was harder to peg a species for; I knew he was associated with crows, but crows aren't typically kept as pets and I wanted to make the story about a pet shop. I considered making Dave a myna (a type of bird that looks like a crow and is really good at mimicry) but eventually I decided it would be fun to write him as a crow, because then we could also get some POV from wild animals or pets owned by other people and who don't live in the pet store.


	4. ==> Jade: Be Adorable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I told you guys I'd take a break from Jurassic World for a bit!  
> I needed to update this one, because I neglected poor Jade for so long.  
> After this I'm probably going to continue "My Little HetaStuck MSTs", since it's my most popular work and I need to finally wrap up the "My Immortal" arc. Plus, I've been getting some fun sounding badfic requests!

A silly doggy sits in the window of the Lofaf Pet Emporium. She's wagging her tail and smiling the way silly doggies do. She looks so cute and cuddly, you want to know what this cute little doggy's name is.

==>"Spoiled Mutt"

"Grrrr..."

She clearly doesn't like that one.

==>"Jade"

That's much better!

Your name is Jade, and you were born in the Lofaf Pet Emporium, where Mr. Tavros and Ms. Feferi took good care of you. You and your friends are currently being showcased in the window of the shop, something you look forward to every day. This is the time when you sit in the window and look cute for potential customers. Today, you are accompanied by new animals. There's a new cat, who is interacting with Rose (you fight the urge to growl at her), a new bunny, who seems to have already befriended John and an impressive-looking cockatoo sitting on a large perch. You wag your tail, you love meeting new animals!

==>Jade: Meet new animals.

"Hey there!" you say to them, "My name's Jade! Who are you guys?"

"My name is Roxy!" said the new cat.

"I'm Jane." said the new rabbit.

"The name's Rufioh." says the cockatoo.

"Cool!" you say, "I'm Jade!"

"You said that already, Jade!" says John as he hops over to you, "Jane and I were just getting to know each other. She's already like a sister to me!"

Jane giggles. Roxy swishes her tail from side to side.

"Roxy and I have been communicating too," says Rose, "I quite enjoy her company."

"How about you, Rufioh?" you ask.

"I haven't talked to anyone, I'm afraid," he says, tilting his head to the side, "there don't seem to be a lot of birds here. But it's cool."

"Most of the were already bought," says John, "except that one parakeet that mysteriously disappeared."

You notice Rose licking her lips at this statement.

"You'll like it here, though," you say, "this window is where we look cute so people will want to take us home!"

"Is that all we have to do to get a new home?" asks Roxy, "I'm in!"

"It's really easy for us bunnies!" says John, "Let's show 'em what we've got, Jane!"

The two of them start bouncing around and play chasing each other. Even you want to adopt them after seeing that.

==>Pets: Be adorable.

Rose quietly grooms herself, looking pretty and sophisticated. Roxy starts batting around a big yarn ball. Rufioh flaps his wings and squawks while fanning out his crest. You simply decide do bound around and let out your typical yelping bark.

"AWWW! Wook at how cute they are!" says a voice.

You all look to see Dave standing in front of the window with the smarmiest grin on his face.

"Dave!" You say in annoyance, "We're trying to get good homes!"

"Not all of us can call the entire planet our home like you can." says Rose.

Dave just gives his typical squawking chuckle and flutters up to his nest in the store's sign.

"Who's that?" asks Jane.

"He's our buddy Dave!" says John, "He's a crow and he lives in the sign on top of the store!"

"Bark bark!" you call out, "There's some kids!"

"Great!" says Roxy, "Kids are easy!"

"Let's all start bein' adorable!" says John.

The kids find the adorable manner in which you all flail about to be rather adorable.

Alas, their parents usher them away. It seems they're not ready for pets right now.

Ms. Feferi rings a bell with a smile and says "Lunch time!"

You perk up immediately and bark as Ms. Feferi places a bowl of dog food in front of you. John and Jade get some veggies, Rose and Roxy get fish and Rufioh gets some nice fruits and seeds poured into his dish.

You wag your tail contentedly. Even if you never get adopted, living here til the end is fine by you.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, now don't get your hopes up; I'm still going to prioritize the other three over this. I'll update this and later probably make an Adventure Time fic that's been in my head since this weird dream I had (check out my Tumblr for that).
> 
> * Tavros can walk because Vriska's a spider here, so she never mind controlled him off a cliff.
> 
> EDIT: I forgot, this will probably have more chapters, so I had to change the little "Complete Work" thing ^_^


End file.
